There is power in the experience of stillness. Especially when combined with the presence of holding space for yourself or another person.
This is generally thought of as “listening.”
When I sink into the experience of truly witnessing what someone is saying, putting my own opinions and judgments aside, being attentive, to just what is being said, it expands the space between us. It’s a very tangible experience.
It takes a tremendous amount of patience and true grounded-ness to be this still.
When someone comes to you and wants to share something very important, for you to say I'm going to sit here for five minutes and I'm just gonna listen, it is a very powerful experience for you both. Maybe even on a cellular level powerful.
It puts you in the position of being a receiver. If you can do this with skill and not be lured into the temptation to fix or judge what is being said, it can be an incredibly enriching experience. Being a receiver feels complete in itself.
When you are the speaker, and you have the experience of being listened to – without the other person trying to change anything for you, it can be a profound experience.
You actually get the chance to listen to yourself more than even if you were to be alone by yourself. The fact that someone is there with you, fully present and aware, but not reacting or giving your feedback.
It can be life-changing to be truly heard.
I feel like if we did this more often it could change the world.
The only comparison of an experience that comes slightly close to this is maybe when you're in meditation.
You set the stage for this deep listening by quieting your body, maybe by focusing on your breath or a mantra or any place to focus your attention.
Pretty soon it becomes apparent that you're literally sitting and as still as you are, the thoughts are arising and showing up. If you’re practiced at you, you can witness your thoughts and not judge them, or try to stop them or get them to go away. You try not to engage with them and it’s sort of like you're doing the same thing.
There’s a method you can use – it’s so simple. You just notice the thoughts and say “Thank you, what else do you have?” and repeat it as many times as you need to, without hesitating to get into the specific things you hear.
You're just saying thank you, what else do you have? Thank you what else do you have? That's like literally what you do in meditation to allow yourself to sink deeper into being present and not distracted by the thoughts as they float by.
When you sit down to practice, you know you're going to have thoughts. You know they will arise, but you just don’t let them make any impressions on you.
I just realized that that's what this deep listening is – it’s like a living present moment meditation with another person.
I started learning about meditation about introspection and quietness and stillness and intuition and all those types of practices from the time I was about 13 years old. It was at that time that I took my first formal education in a workshop called Silva Mind Control. My dad signed us up to take this weekend workshop in New York City after he had taken it. I remember him telling us he thought it might be good for us to use to study and improve our memory retention.
Here I am at 61 and when I practice something called “Spring Cleaning” with someone it really does feel familiar. Just figured out it feels comfortable because I've practiced it and practiced it and practiced it. Alone and now, with others.
Now I understand why I've been practicing and why it feels familiar and why I'm good at it - is because I have been practicing!
I can see that this is really one of the best offerings I can make right now.
Literally, right now my biggest challenge is to ground myself so much that I can offer this space holding and witness to others. So I can be this channel or vessel or whatever it might be called – this safe haven for my husband, my friends and family, and my clients.
But first, for myself.
And you? Who do you know that listens to this deeply to you?
If you want to try it out and see for yourself how impactful the experience can be, set up a date and I’ll hold space for you for 15 minutes on whatever topic you want. You’ll have the chance to truly hear yourself in the presence of a quiet witness.
I think you’ll be amazed at what your inner wisdom has to say to you.
If you’d only take time to listen. I will. With you.
This week is an excellent day for self-care including using flowers from the garden!
Bring the beauty of nature into your home is truly elegant way to celebrate both the gifts of the sun and the energy of a Cancer moon. It’s easy is to make a custom “flower essence” from your garden flowers, or house plants that bloom.
All you need is a few fresh flowers, water, and sunshine.
For an extra infusion of energy, while you are taking the petals off and dropping them gently into the bowl of clear fresh filtered water, consider the magic of nature – and bask in the abundance she produces - visual beauty, scent, soft petals, appealing shapes and the colors!
Bring these ingredients together and let them soak in the sun for a few hours.
Bringing these elements together in the form of flowers… you have a simple yet powerful way to align yourself with the energies of this special time of year.
After setting the flowers in water and allowing them to soak up the sun to make a special “flower essence”.
Practice exquisite self care by adding the flower essence that to a tub of warm running water and soak for 20 - 30 minutes while listening to music or sounds of nature. If you really wanted an extra special "granola glamour girl" practice, fill up a small pool and take your soak outside in your garden in the sunshine or under the starlit sky!
This is the Perfect Time to Spring Clean!
You are familiar with the importance of properly washing and sanitize your hands, and you are probably wiping and disinfecting surfaces all over your house - but when is the last time you did a "Spring Clean" of your skincare and makeup or cleaned the products you place directly on our faces every day?
Our face, lips, and eyes are the entry-ways for bacteria and germs to get into our system, that's why you hear about the importance of hand washing and keeping your hands away from your face!
It's also important to properly clean the tools and makeup you apply to your face, and replace any outdated skincare or makeup products.
All self care products have an expiration date or shelf life based on the ingredients. If you haven't used the product in some time, or you see or smell anything unusual, toss it! It's not worth getting an eye infection or causing skin irritation when you can replace the products and play it safe.
Marie Kondo has become famous for her suggestion that when you de-clutter you consider if something brings you joy - and if it doesn't - then throw it away!
This is especially true for your self care because if it doesn't bring you joy, then what good is it?!
Self care is all about joy, and so is Spring Time!
Stress can definitely take a toll on our bodies in many ways—physically, emotionally and mentally.
I find that when I don’t have the time to slow down, that's when I need Self-care the MOST!
It’s important to take good care of YOU. #SelfCareLeadstoSelfLove
You not only deserve it, but when you’re feeling rested and recharged, you can accomplish more and support others better.
It’s not selfish because you’ll actually have more of you to give.
Coaching women in how to discover their own favorite self-care practices is one of the cornerstones my experience as an Independent Beauty Guide with LimeLife by Alcone.
Here are a few tips I’ve found my clients seem to like and may be helpful to you as well!
1. Take time each night to reflect on the gratitude you have for your beautiful body. Find one thing to be proud of, be grateful for, or to celebrate, as you wash your face and reflect on the day!
2. Attending the LimeLife by Alcone annual events, I’ve been introduced to the authors Martha Beck, Shawn Achor and Shirzad Charmine. Each has their unique perspective on self-awareness – which I actually consider a form of self-care!
3. Speak to yourself more kindly. Use your “mirror time” to tell yourself the things you long to hear… if you’re curious about this one, contact me!
4. Open your windows and blinds during the day to get vitamin D and fresh air. Go outside when you get the chance! Be sure to use sunscreen and moisturizer to protect your skin!
5. Exfoliate the skin on your entire body. Use a dry body brush, or one of our fabulous body care products Scrubtini or Bamboo Renew!
6. Put on a little lipstick – to brighten your face and make you feel amazing. Sometimes it’s the littlest things that make a difference!
What are you favorite ways to practice exquisite self care?
What could you do in less than 30 minutes today to make a difference in a woman's life, her family and community and her future?
Super simple, invest in your own self care!
For many women around the globe, the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights, can be quite a challenge.
When women speak to me about their desire to feel more confident, to get "unstuck", or move beyond "overwhelm" the first thing I ask is, "What have you done for yourself lately?"
You see, I've experienced for myself, and seen in others, that when you invest in your own self care, you quite naturally begin to feel better about yourself, which makes it easier to take more actions to improve your health and your wellbeing is immediately impacted. I didn't say it is easy, but it is simple.
Empowering women is all about providing women with access to education, supporting them through the process and believing in their ability to take actions on behalf of themselves.
By investing in your own self care, you could ALSO automatically be funding entrepreneurial training and support for another woman! Isn't that amazing?!
If you, like lots of my clients, use a little makeup, you'll want to check this out. Not only will you be getting some of the finest professional makeup available (which means you need very little, it looks better on and feels fabulous) your purchase of one of the Brighter Together Collections, provides funding (zero administrative fees) to the Project Concern International Women Empowered (WE) initiative.
As Jessica Jane Mancini and I discuss in this segment of the Comcast Cable TV Show "30 Minutes" we experienced first hand the difference the Brighter Together Foundation collaboration with the PCI is making for women in Guatemala. Listen in to hear a few examples of what we heard from the woman we met when we attended the Global Leadership Summit hosted by LimeLife by Alcone this past May.
My intention in sharing this, is that you may be inspired to make self care a daily ritual, and at the same time, fund the training and education for another women to encourage her to take better care of herself, by growing her confidence through entrepreneurship leading to financial security.
As a Life Midwife, and Independent Beauty Guide with LimeLife by Alcone, I am aggregator of resources and practical techniques to enhance my clients lives, through encouraging greater self care leading to an increase in self love.
My belief is we have far greater wisdom within and it's time to use this knowledge to lift ourselves and our communities up to a higher standard of living.
It is an honor and a pleasure to share with you, the first episode of Community Forum, a cable TV show I host, allowing me the opportunity to bring to you people who are making a positive impact with the intention of inspiring YOU to take action in whatever manner you desire, to make a difference in our world.
In this conversation with Amanda Hanson, CEO of Activating Humans, we discuss the power of intention and taking action, how community is a key component for personal growth and the power of empathy.
Amanda was an amazing first guest for the show! She is full of life, and an inspiration to take action on our dreams! When she and I were speaking, I was so into listening I hardly noticed her coughing, except when I saw her eyes fill up. (Ouch!)
I couldn’t “think” of anything to do, so instead my inner brain kicked in, and while we were in the conversation about empathy, I was reminded about the power of holding hands. That made me reach out to her in a gesture of wanting to help ease and comfort. After that, she never coughed again. The timing was perfect to bring up the work of Dr. James Coan, clinical psychologist and his work regarding the brain and the power of hand holding. Amanda gave us the opportunity to share an illustration of empathy - on air - live in real time. And how simple and powerful it can be.
In conversation I also had the opportunity to share a story from Shawn Achor's book Big Potential, that basically illustrates the power of coordination and collaboration vs. competition, which most of us are lead to believe will bring us better results.
When asked what daily ritual Amanda likes to use for inspiration, she mentioned taking dance breaks. I wholeheartedly agreed they can be so uplifting! In fact, I subscribe to an app called The Movement, with Erin Stutland, that includes movement AND Mantra's - the combination is refreshing and incredibly powerful!
A little background before you watch the video - this past Friday afternoon I was asked to be the host of the show, and within 2 hours, had secured Amanda as a guest, and designed the stage I wanted to create. Three days later we shot the TV segment LIVE, and with no editing, it was uploaded and available to view on Monday night.
In this TV segment, Amanda shares the journey of her desire and intention manifesting an entirely new business, serving the community, including creating a name and logo, renovating a physical location, sending out promotional material and people registering for events, all within a 7 week period.
The point is, when you have a desire, it's the beginning of what it takes to make it manifest. Dream it, do it, ask for assistance, and watch it unfold almost magically before your very eyes.
I'd love to hear your "magical manifestation" stories, so let's talk, and lift each other higher with our desires for 2020... and beyond!
Oh, and, please share with a friend who you think could use the inspiration to take action to realize her dreams! Thank you.
Elevate your awareness
Invite innocence and wonder
Validate your feelings
Energize your life
The Holiday Season is often a time of reflection, counting our blessings and revisiting our childhood. The experience can remind us of the loved one's we miss, opportunities that have passed us by or anxiety about the future.
It can also be a magical time when we feel blanketed with the deep silence the first snow brings, or the lightheartedness generated by hearing the laughter of a small child. It can be a time when we pause to spend more time with people we care about.
In many ways, what you believe, in other words, what you trust in, you will see. Since you're given a choice, why not believe in the beauty of the season? Why not focus on the goodness in yourself and others, and the qualities of generosity and kindness that is often evident at this time of year.
If you are looking for a way to experience the beauty of the season, you may have to go a little outside your comfort zone and invite in connections to others, either by gift giving, or offering a helping hand. It’s human nature that people with excess resources are genuinely generous with family and friends, but often without a human connection, don’t usually give to strangers, or people outside their immediate sphere.
This Holiday Season you have the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives all over the globe, by simply exercising your purchasing power.
Seek out opportunities to make your “purchases with a purpose” really count by getting to know the stories of the people behind the organizations that your dollars support.
You may find, as I have, that it’s the connection with others that truly brings out the beauty in the season, and when we experience a deepening of our connection, we develop a sense of community. Which is the most beautiful and valuable “thing” we can give to another.
We truly are “Brighter Together”!
Thank you for your support of the Brighter Together Foundation!
This month you have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of women in India, Guatemala, Burundi and Tanzania, as we celebrate the 2nd Year Anniversary of the Brighter Together Foundation.
A percentage of each purchase of LimeLife by Alcone products this month will automatically generate a donation to help fund the Project Concern International Women Empowerment (WE) initiative which provides entrepreneurial field training education and financial literacy for women in the world’s most impoverished countries.
In the past two years this partnership has helped over 750,000 women to build their own successful businesses and become leaders in their communities. This month we hope reach an additional 640 women with this valuable information that will impact not only their lives, but the children they are raising as well. In fact, in Guatemala, for the past 10 months, the children of the women I had the opportunity to meet and speak to in May, are also meeting every two weeks to learn how to set goals, save money and start other smart financial habits.
Each and every skin care and makeup product for yourself, and the gifts you purchase for others this month are going to make an impact on generations of people, to help them to lift themselves out of poverty.
Please contact me if you’d like to learn more about the Brighter Together Foundation or how you can support the Project Concern International Women Empowered initiative!
To get out of the rut of victimhood, or move beyond the feeling of "we need to do more" (while we're racing), dropping into that place of peace inside can be a very soothing way to begin.
As a way to access this inner contentment, I encourage women to practice greater self care. That includes taking good care of your entire self with compassion and acceptance.
I saw a hawk on my walk today. When I looked it up, I found out that hawks represent the messengers of the spirit world, and seeing them means the universe wants you to learn powerful lessons or expand your knowledge and wisdom.
Hawks also encourage you to use laser focus and precision to get things done, and to take the lead in life.
So fitting that I would see a hawk today. I'm ready to take these actions and make a difference in the world.
Reach out to me to schedule a private complimentary 30 minute discover session on which method of working together would be the best fit for you!
"Personality, creativity, energy, engagement, leadership, and even sales performance are all predicted by those you surround yourself with."
Surround yourself with people that lift you up, are doing good things in the world and people who make you a better person just by being in their orb.
See the gal all the way to the right, beside me? That's my friend Nancy Moon, of Moon PR, a boutique Public Relations and Social Media Firm. She's also a very talented blogger, photographer, bee keeper and animal lover.
Nancy invited me to attend the PowerPlay Awards Gala honoring her good friend, CEO of Champion Women an organization that advocates for equality and accountability in sports, Nancy Hogshead-Makar J.D. (holding the bouquet of flowers).
Along with Jennifer Freeman, a New York lawyer who has a long history of representing survivors of child abuse and exploitation, Nancy Hogshead-Makar received the Advocacy Award at the event in New York City this past May.
When I'm in the presence of women who are so accomplished, it makes me feel like there's room for me to do a little bit more, in my own unique way.
As Happiness researcher and author Shawn Achor says in his book BIG POTENTIAL, connecting with high-potential people dramatically increases your likelihood of high-potential outcomes.
I'm excited for what the new season will bring and how I will use this inspiration to touch more women's lives... let me know who some of your high-potential people are and what they are inspiring you to do!
Pamela Miles, Author
The love of writing began during the 1972 - 73 school year, while composing letters to my summer camp friends. From there I learned about the power of keeping a journal, a secret spot to get all my thoughts out on paper... the letter writing and journalling has continued and now I'm venturing into the word of Blogging!